Routinely, my wife and I operate like cuckoo clocks. We go out to the edge of the plank, greet each other then go our separate ways. Its consistently been like this and I know why. We had a rough patch in our marriage a few years back. I became involved with another woman that we both knew. It wasn’t a long affair just a couple of nights of fun. I thought about telling my wife, but someone beat me to it.
The hard part came when she decided not to leave. Like a death had suddenly came into the family, I was locked out from the joys of her life. Everything is done without me now. She goes to the movies alone. Also spend alot of time with her friends. There is never a question of where I was or where I am going. If something exciting happens to me at work, she just smiles then walks away. I really want her to get back to normal and forget this happened. Why can’t she just get over it? It was just sex, nothing more than that.
Today is Valentines Day, so I decided to sit and watch our wedding video. I really don’t know what made me watch it actually. It had been years since I saw it. The video opens with her and the bridesmaids putting on their beautiful dresses. She looks gorgeous and thrilled to be getting married. That day, I wondered if I was even good enough to wed such a woman. The video ends with us dancing under a few scattered lights. Then the video cuts off abruptly because we ran out of tape. I have no idea how I can mend her heart or what to do next.
“That day is still the best day of my life.”
Turning from the video, I observe my wife leaning against the wall looking at me with affectionate eyes.
“Are you sure its still the best day? I have been such a fuck up since then.”
“That day can never be erased. I don’t hate you for what you did, I just don’t understand why you would do that to me.”
“I have no answer for what I did. I have been foolish to think it would be something that you could just get over. Now looking at our wedding video, I can see your love for me was unconditional.”
Sitting on the couch, she comes and rests beside me. Hair in a messy bun, she flashes a smile then rubs my chin. My eyes start to swell with tears but she quiets my pain with a kiss. At that moment, I felt energized loved and wanted. I embraced her in the warmest hug ever and we both laid on the couch watching the wedding video all over again.